Stoicism

What is stoicism?

Stoicism is a school of Hellenistic philosophy founded by Zeno of Citium in Athens in the early 3rd century BC. It is a philosophy of personal ethics informed by its system of logic and its views on the natural world. According to its teachings, as social beings, the path to eudaimonia (happiness, or blessedness) is found in accepting the moment as it presents itself, by not allowing oneself to be controlled by the desire for pleasure or fear of pain, by using one's mind to understand the world and to do one's part in nature's plan, and by working together and treating others fairly and justly.
For a quick intro watch this short video by The School of Life 🍿

How can I use stoic ideas in my everyday life?

I want to show you 3 of the 12 exercises described by Massimo Pigliucci in his book "How to be a stoic" 📖. These exercises are very practical and have the purpose of providing perspective in our busy everday lives. Pigliucci suggests setting a reminder and going through one of them each day. If you find these practices interesting you can buy his book here. Or you can go back to the roots and read any of the books of the greatest stoics, such as Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius (the handsome guy you see at the top of the page) or Seneca. Despite the original texts being around 2000 years old, they apply surprisingly well to our modern days, and are not difficult to read, thanks to the great translations available.

Let's get to the exercises!

I know what you are thinking. I've heard this one a thousand times before. Seems like this advice has been around for quite some time. But don't worry, I won't leave you with this one sentence. Let's look at the words of Epictetus:

“Remember, it is not enough to be hit or insulted to be harmed, you must believe that you are being harmed. If someone succeeds in provoking you, realize that your mind is complicit in the provocation. Which is why it is essential that we not respond impulsively to impressions; take a moment before reacting, and you will find it easier to maintain control.”

It is an important principle in stoicism to view things as they are and not as we perceive them. Whenever something happens to you that induces strong negative or positive feelings, (yes this also applies to positive feelings), instead of reacting based on your initial perception or gut feeling stop for a moment. Take a deep breath. Go for a 5 minute walk (if the situation allows it). After that, revisit the matter at hand and consider it as objectively as you are able to, or as the stoics would say – with equanimity. Equanimity (Latin: æquanimitas, having an even mind) is a crucial term in stoic philosophy. It refers to a state of mind undisturbed by experience of or exposure to emotions, pain, or other phenomena that may cause others to lose the balance.

The next time you're outside pick up a rock, try to insult it and see what happens. Of course, no one expects you to react to insults in a "stone cold" manner, but you might want to think of that rock as your role model. If you manage to do this exercise of taking a step back every now and then (let's start small 🤗) you can avoid hurting others or yourself and save yourself of embarassment. Overall, you can feel more balanced and self-confident, and others will notice too.
“When a friend breaks a glass, we are quick to say, ‘Oh, bad luck.’ It’s only reasonable, then, that when a glass of your own breaks, you accept it in the same patient spirit. Moving on to graver things: when somebody’s wife or child dies, to a man we all routinely say, ‘Well, that’s part of life.’ But if one of our own family is involved, then right away it’s ‘Poor, poor me!’ We would do better to remember how we react when a similar loss afflicts others.”

Epictetus reminds us here that in the face of tragedy, one way of seeing it in perspective is to consider how we react to the hardship of others. Even though we might sympathize with an acquaintane, a friend or a family member, the issues they tell us about tend to stay further from our hearts and minds. And that is a healthy reaction (imagine feeling the exact same things as all the others with the same magnitude all the time 🥴). However, the next time something upsetting happens to you try to think about what you would tell your friend in a similar situaton.

Again, this is not about being "stone cold" and not feeling appropriate sadness or anger as a reaction to a difficult event. Rather, it should be a reassuring reminder that you are not the only one facing this hurdle, and that these things, however unfortunate, are a natural part of life. Other people, life, the universe or God (substitute anything you would normally think about) are not punishing you, the chosen one. It is very likely that whatever you're going through has happened to or will happen to almost everyone you know. This exercise may help putting things into perspective and it emphasizes that your problem is part of the natural course of life and not unique to you.
Ok, so this is another one you might have heard a thousand times. Sorry! 🙆‍♀️ With this exercise Stoics encourage you to reserve some time at the end of the day and recount and evaluate the highlights of the day. Preferrably those with an ethical valence. Once you jot down a few positive and negative examples try to evaluate them (e.g. Today I was short-tempered and reacted unkindly to my partner. OR Today I helped a friend in trouble.). Pigliucci compared this process to grading a student's exam or homework, which I quite like. This progress might seem tedious and can be uncomfortable on days, where you just weren't your best self. However, if you can be honest with yourself and go through your wrongdoings, but also what you have done right, it can be the best guide for the days to come. Below you find some beautifully written lines about this practice by my favorite Stoic, Seneca:

“The spirit ought to be brought up for examination daily. It was the custom of Sextius when the day was over, and he had betaken himself to rest, to inquire of his spirit: ‘What bad habit of yours have you cured to-day? What vice have you checked? In what respect are you better?’ Anger will cease, and become more gentle, if it knows that every day it will have to appear before the judgment seat. What can be more admirable than this fashion of discussing the whole of the day’s events? How sweet is the sleep which follows this self-examination? How calm, how sound, and careless is it when our spirit has either received praise or reprimand, and when our secret inquisitor and censor has made his report about our morals? I make use of this privilege, and daily plead my cause before myself: when the lamp is taken out of my sight, and my wife, who knows my habit, has ceased to talk, I pass the whole day in review before myself, and repeat all that I have said and done: I conceal nothing from myself, and omit nothing: for why should I be afraid of any of my shortcomings, when it is in my power to say, ‘I pardon you this time: see that you never do that anymore?”

Disclaimer: This is just a quick dive into some of the stoic ideas. It should be noted that they are best understood and interpreted by understanding the fundamental virtues of stoicism and in the context of the source material.

Stoic exercises for everyday life

What is stoicism?

How can I use stoic ideas in my everyday life?