💀 Welcome to THE BEST Travel agency! 💀

Quality and Safety

Our team of experts selected the BEST places to see. These people gave up their lives to provide the best, the safest, the most fun, and the craziest experience for you! Planes we use to transport our guests are built before 1960! It means that there is no chance for them to fail! Those planes been in the skies long enough for us to know they are indestructible! Not to mention all the wars our planes have flown in so you best believe they are sturdy as rocks!

Privacy and Peace

Kids and phones are left at the Airport so people and parents can enjoy your midlife crisis to the fullest! As the best Travel Agency, we believe that kids are too noisy, too demanding and too dirty! Crying kid is the last thing you want to hear while you are relaxing next to the swimming pool or on the beach! Not to mention, do you really remember when your mother took you for holidays at the age of 3? You could have spent two weeks at the airport and you would not even remember after 😇

Price and immersion with the Nature

To save money and increase happines among our customers we decided that we will abandon the boring standard holiday routine. We believe that people should go back to the nature. Our ancestors used to live in caves, forests... living stressless life, without depression and anxiety. That is what we believe in. When you land you will not need to travel to some fancy looking hotel. You will immerse yourself into the nature. Let the forest be your shelter!

Living like a local hipster

Some people travel but they do not even see the change! They eat the same things they used to eat back home, they talk the same language with the staff they spoke back home, they do the same exact things they could do back home... Not with our Travel Agency! Have you ever heard of Freegans? If not, you will have a chance to live like one! Save the planet and be cool! Do you know that people waste around 2.7 million ton of food EVERY YEAR? We are strongly against it! That is why, let the street be your restaurant! Please just send a request, we will do anything to fulfill your needs!



Please make up your mind and choose one of THE BEST destination possible!

For more information please scroll down


💣 Karachi 💣

Once the capital city of Pakistan, continues to be the metropolitan-industrial hub that it has been famous for. Also famous for it's beach, Karachi is known for being one of the biggest cities in the world! Once you land, you get a goodie pack at the gates which includes a whole pack of surgical masks, because pollution is something Karachi is also known for. You'll be fitted with a GPS-tracker in case you get kidnapped, we mean lost* in this bustling city. We will also confiscate your clothes, belongings and all your money. Not because you might get robbed, because it gets pretty hot in this city! Enjoy your stay at this beautiful city, it has much to offer. You should begin sightseeing at the mausoleum of Quaid-e-Azam! The founder of Pakistan. Want to buy or sell something? Visit the Zainab market. Where you can buy or sell pretty much anything and everything you can think of. Be sure to keep some cash on you as most places do not accept cards. We suggest hiding it in your sock.


🥐 Marrakesh! 🕌

You haven't been anywhere if you haven't visited this beautiful of western Morocco. It's full of palaces to make you feel like royalty, full of mosques to make you feel like you've booked a one-way ticket to heaven! That is, in case, you die after a snake from a snake charmer ends up biting you. Or, if you end up getting too high on that staple Moroccan hashish! We're kidding, no one has ever really died from smoking a bit too much of that green. You can find plenty of souvenirs in the hundreds of souks - like pottery, jewelry and numerous textiles! If you like to eat, then you're in luck! Morocco has a blend of cuisine that reaches beyond many borders. Arabic food with a touch of French and Spanish. Speaking of French and Spanish, did you know Moroccans also speak both of those languages? Guess years of colonialism made them polyglots. Be sure to stay away from tourist-traps and scams, that bracelet Abdul is putting onto your wrist isn't free. Enjoy your stay, habibi.


🔪 Cracow 🔪

Cracow, city of polish kings and polish hooligans! Polish people tend to laugh at this city saying that air is so thick in this city that one needs a machete to cut their way though! We are confident that they did not mean the pollution but the jungles and forests of this city! Nowadays, modern cities are covered in concrete, not Cracow. Once we had a traveler who after visiting this city asked us how did it happen that he ended up in Amazonia Forests, even though he booked a trip to Cracow… Amazing! Here you can take a dip in the cleanest river called the Vistula. Visit Nowa Huta, now district of Cracow, 100 years ago cute sleepy town located to the North-East of Cracow. They even had a Lenin statue over there! Perfect place for a walk with your loved ones. All nature lovers, come and see with your eyes how green and sustainable the city of Cracow is. Try not to get shanked by some hooligans with their favoriute weapons - machetes. Enjoy camping in one of 666 department stores around this city. Do not interfere in pigeons affairs, they are known for eating people alive! Stay green and safe!

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🙈 Coded by Aleksandra Rodzinka 🙊