“Resilience is that ineffable quality that allows some people to be
knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than
letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way
to rise from the ashes.”
In a nutshell, resilience can be defined as the ability – and tendency –
to “bounce back.”
Resilience won't make your problems go away — but resilience can give
you the ability to see past them, find enjoyment in life and better
handle stress. If you aren't as resilient as you'd like to be, you can
develop skills to become more resilient.
According to the research of leading psychologist, Susan Kobasa, there
are three elements that are essential to resilience:
Challenge – Resilient people view a difficulty as a
challenge, not as a paralyzing event. They look at their failures and
mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities for growth.
They don't view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or
self-worth.
Commitment – Resilient people are committed to their
lives and their goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of
bed in the morning. Commitment isn't just restricted to their work –
they commit to their relationships, their friendships, the causes they
care about, and their religious or spiritual beliefs.
Personal Control – Resilient people spend their time
and energy focusing on situations and events that they have control
over. Because they put their efforts where they can have the most
impact, they feel empowered and confident. Those who spend time worrying
about uncontrollable events can often feel lost, helpless, and powerless
to take action.
How we view adversity and stress strongly affects how we succeed, and this is one of the most significant reasons why having a resilient mindset is so important.
Like building a muscle, increasing your resilience takes time and intentionality. Focusing on challenge, commitment, and personal control can empower you to withstand and learn from difficult and traumatic experiences.