Growing up I was lied to by the media who portrayed Kangaroos as sweet and loveable creatures who hop into your heart. The truth is, their PR team has been covering up the fact that they are one of the scariest creatures to ever exist, other than 'P Diddy'.
Reasons why a group of Kangaroos are called a 'mob':
They have abs and remind me of gym bros.
They steal animals and often lure animals to drown them.
They will throw their babies at preditors to save themselves.
A kangaroo was spotted grabbing a dog with its paw hands and then disemboweling the dog with its legs of steel.
They can balance on their tail and then kick.
They have three hearts, so even if you break their heart, they have another two.
They have three ears, so you cannot sneak up on them.
They can see clearly during the day and night, so you cant hide.
They can hop 25 feet at a time, so you cannot run away from them.
They attack innocent civilians like you and I and our precious grannies.
Here are some redeeming facts about kangaroos:
They have very cute faces.
Their skin makes good shoes, apparently.
side note: I am scared of them, but I still do not want them to be made into shoes, shame.
All information that was not originally written by me was found on the following
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