Red flags are warning signs that indicate unhealthy or manipulative behavior. They are not always recognizable at first — which is part of what makes them so dangerous. Red flags are often used in conversations around toxic or abusive relationships. Toxicity can present itself in any close relationship: friends, colleagues, family members, or partners. Let’s look at 5 common red flags in men, women, and nonbinary individuals that can arise in any relationship. By learning what they look like and why they are harmful, you can put an end to toxicity before too much damage is done.
1. Overly controlling behavior: Overly controlling behavior is a common red flag in relationships. People that try to control your movements, decisions, or beliefs are more concerned about what they want than what is best for you. If a guy or girl tries to control what you wear or where you go, this could be a red flag. In a healthy relationship, there is compromise and understanding around differences. Not one person controls the other person’s actions.
2. Lack of trust: Trust is an important foundation in any healthy relationship. A major sign of an unstable relationship is when partners, friends, colleagues, or family members distrust you. Of course, we all have doubts sometimes. But they shouldn't stop us from trusting the people in our lives to do the right thing. Healthy relationships require trust on both sides.
3. Feeling low self-esteem: The people closest to you should build you up, not break you down. When you love someone, you are committed to supporting and uplifting them. If you do not feel that support from your partner, family or friends, something needs to change.
4. Physical, emotional, or mental abuse : Physical, emotional, and mental abuse are undeniable red flags in any relationship. Physical abuse is easier to pick up. But emotional and mental abuse can be just as damaging in the long run. And just like physical abuse, mental and emotional abuse can cause PTSD. Nobody ever has the right to use you as a scapegoat for their own problems. Those should be dealt with constructively and fairly. Abuse is never an acceptable response to a problem.
5.Codependency and the ensuing emotional labor might not always present themselves as toxic. But codependency in relationships can be a pervasive pattern that causes issues such as emotional exhaustion and increasing mental load. Codependency, or “relationship addiction,” happens when two people rely on each other exclusively for emotional, psychological, and even physical support. This alienates them from their other relationships and can stunt personal growth.
This page was constructed by Ntshembheko Praise Chauke