My favorite hobby: collecting plants

…and then watching them die

Are you looking for a fun new activity that won’t interfere with your laziness? Follow my step-by-step guide to accidentally killing every other living thing in your household.

• Step one: Overspend on plants at your local garden center and start calling yourself a plant mom.
• Step two: Enjoy the benefits of a greener living space for 6 to 8 weeks.
• Step three: Set—and then repeatedly ignore—dozens of reminders to feed, water, and re-pot your newest family members.
• Step four: Watch your beloved plant babies wilt and die one by one. Do nothing.
• Step five: Repeat steps one through five.

👉 More tips on mass-murdering your plants